Ok so I’m going to make another post about that post I just reblogged. Like ok I understand that we women get harassed far too often by men who feel entitled to….us? But this whole ‘wow i’m beautiful so shut the fuck up and leave me alone’ attitude seems weird. If someone comes up to you and says something or whatever, you say “sorry, I’m busy” or “no thank you” or whatever is appropriate and they say “oh sorry” or just walk away or whatever THERE IS NO PROBLEM??? Obviously I realize that doesn’t happen now but yeah the whole “wow get the fuck away from me” “don’t speak to me” “give her her SPACE” like aren’t people supposed to be social like
being social isn’t inherently evil
meep.
I don’t think that being social is inherently evil! but
the point, I think, is to do with this particular kind of communication - the epitome of shy interaction, where you’ve got so much anxiety and terror that you can’t bring yourself to actually talk to someone, but you valiantly do this because you need to tell someone that they’re beautiful… and that’s kind of fucked up because why is their beauty the most important thing? why is it worth it to tell them this? like… I’m kinda floundering for words. it’s like. here:
alex is walking along
sam sees alex and is overcome by alex’s beauty
sam tells alex how beautiful they are in a way that gets across how much alex’s beauty affected sam
like, one of the problems here is that it’s objectification - even if it’s not sexual objectification, sam still is interacting with alex as an entity with really one quality - beauty! and obviously if this were an actual case it probably wouldn’t be that simple, but that’s what’s communicated in the post.
And also I think that this kind of thing really lionizes antisocialness in a way that is unhealthy? like it makes this valiant struggle to interact with someone and overcome your fears out as the epitome of romanticism and loving beauty and care for a stranger, when like. most of the time it’s not that. most of the time it’s the creepy fetishization of a stranger against their consent.
and I guess that’s what bothers me most about it - that image is going to resonate really, really strongly with, at the risk of generalizing, all the shy dudes who think they’ve been burned by the friendzone over and over.
I’m in favor of socialization, but this isn’t healthy socialization - this is objectification!
and that’s why I have problems with it
(and I think that the “I’m beautiful, shut up and leave me alone” attitude is a combination of 1. reclaiming beauty as something you’re doing for yourself while simultaneously 2. trying to throw off the training you’ve received to accept the advances of strangers - whether appropriate or inappropriate)
I don’t know I have a lot of thoughts
I think there’s a fine line to walk between sharing and talking about the experiences of people who live and love with social anxiety and such, versus reinforcing all the objectifying tropes which simplify and reduce other people - whether we realize that’s what we’re doing or not
I don’t know it’s complicated
I don’t know
meep.
Hmmmmmmm??? Sorry I got a bit lost with your pronouns; by “it” and “that” do you mean the giving the business card thing, or talking to a stranger in general?
Also you gave the example of Sam and Alex but…. Sam has just met Alex, yes? All Sam knows is what Alex looks like. Yes, Sam is judging Alex by Alex’s looks, because that’s all Sam knows so far. Is that not an appropriate way to start a connection? There’s this whole kneejerk reaction of “TALK OF PHYSICAL ASPECTS??? OBJECTIFICATION!!!!” but. No? Just because you’re looking at a physical aspect of something doesn’t mean you’re thinking of it/him/her/etc as an object????? Especially if it’s something that person has done/made themselves?????
I guess our differences is you’re defining beauty as like uhh… “objective” physical attractiveness (skinny, pale, etc whatever it is) and I’m just talking about giving someone a compliment for whatever reason because you thought they looked nice or they were wearing some rad cute shoes or they looked really happy.
Also sorry I got a bit lost again at the fedora dudes bit
Point: if everyone’s real respectful about it, I don’t see what harm a compliment can do, whether received or rejected.
the question is what kinds of interactions are respectful! and as a foreword, I’m totally down with complimenting someone’s shoes or hair or whatever - compliments are great! and there’s a good chance that if someone handed me this card, I’d be touched. but…
I mean it all comes down to like, the social context. if someone strikes up a conversation with you while you’re at a bar, cool. it’s a little weird if it happens when you’re just walking down the street not really interacting? and similarly, there’s a lot of different ways you can give someone a compliment. I mean, you could make this same argument about catcalls - “all he could see of her was her appearance, so he was expressing his appreciation of it!” and like. the thing is that that business card thing - and especially the subtitle - brings to mind something very different from “oh, I like your hair!” or something. I’m going to see if I can nail down what bothers me about it (the business card)
the subtitle implies that the giver wouldn’t be able to talk to you in normal circumstances - that handing you this card takes all of their social energy, and they wouldn’t even be able to do that otherwise
it implies that your beauty (or, to be fair, some other quality about you, but if they haven’t interacted with you previously, then it still comes back to watching from afar) is enough to empower them to interact with you in this way (handing the card)
if this was planned out, it implies they’ve been watching you for some time, which makes a lot of warning bells go off in my head
like… if a stranger tells you you’ve got a cool hat, then you say “thanks!” and you think “oh, that person who I know nothing about and therefore assume is pretty normal, they think my hat is cool! I bet my hat is cool!” but if someone comes up to you and fawns over your hat and stuff, then… well, in my case at least, I tend to think “why is this person so obsessed with my hat :|” and it’s awkward and I feel weird about it.
and like. I feel weird about this kind of interaction because I didn’t want to spark an obsession. I just wanted to walk to the corner store. and the strength of feeling implied by the card makes it a much greater imposition on my personal space than “I like your hat!” would. plus, it’s a blanket statement about my beauty - which is always a little weirder than any kind of specific compliment (compliments get weirder the farther they get from things that I actually decided on)
I’m in favor of compliments about my choices. When my agency is removed from the interaction, I get less okay with the interaction.
Ok so I’m going to make another post about that post I just reblogged. Like ok I understand that we women get harassed far too often by men who feel entitled to….us? But this whole ‘wow i’m beautiful so shut the fuck up and leave me alone’ attitude seems weird. If someone comes up to you and says something or whatever, you say “sorry, I’m busy” or “no thank you” or whatever is appropriate and they say “oh sorry” or just walk away or whatever THERE IS NO PROBLEM??? Obviously I realize that doesn’t happen now but yeah the whole “wow get the fuck away from me” “don’t speak to me” “give her her SPACE” like aren’t people supposed to be social like
being social isn’t inherently evil
meep.
I don’t think that being social is inherently evil! but
the point, I think, is to do with this particular kind of communication - the epitome of shy interaction, where you’ve got so much anxiety and terror that you can’t bring yourself to actually talk to someone, but you valiantly do this because you need to tell someone that they’re beautiful… and that’s kind of fucked up because why is their beauty the most important thing? why is it worth it to tell them this? like… I’m kinda floundering for words. it’s like. here:
alex is walking along
sam sees alex and is overcome by alex’s beauty
sam tells alex how beautiful they are in a way that gets across how much alex’s beauty affected sam
like, one of the problems here is that it’s objectification - even if it’s not sexual objectification, sam still is interacting with alex as an entity with really one quality - beauty! and obviously if this were an actual case it probably wouldn’t be that simple, but that’s what’s communicated in the post.
And also I think that this kind of thing really lionizes antisocialness in a way that is unhealthy? like it makes this valiant struggle to interact with someone and overcome your fears out as the epitome of romanticism and loving beauty and care for a stranger, when like. most of the time it’s not that. most of the time it’s the creepy fetishization of a stranger against their consent.
and I guess that’s what bothers me most about it - that image is going to resonate really, really strongly with, at the risk of generalizing, all the shy dudes who think they’ve been burned by the friendzone over and over.
I’m in favor of socialization, but this isn’t healthy socialization - this is objectification!
and that’s why I have problems with it
(and I think that the “I’m beautiful, shut up and leave me alone” attitude is a combination of 1. reclaiming beauty as something you’re doing for yourself while simultaneously 2. trying to throw off the training you’ve received to accept the advances of strangers - whether appropriate or inappropriate)
I don’t know I have a lot of thoughts
I think there’s a fine line to walk between sharing and talking about the experiences of people who live and love with social anxiety and such, versus reinforcing all the objectifying tropes which simplify and reduce other people - whether we realize that’s what we’re doing or not
I don’t know it’s complicated
I don’t know
meep.
This is almost romantic until you realize how unspontaneous it is to just happen to have a professionally printed business card that says this
You’re not as romantic as you could be! For all you know, this person could’ve planned this thing out for months and only then did he summon his innards to do this. Think of it. He’s a shy guy with not much experience saying this sort of thing. He tried before to mutter those two words but always fell flat. So instead, he took to something physical.
A scrap of notebook paper with pen jottings here and there? No, that can’t work. People could catch him mid-write and if he brought it from home, it’d be too raggedy for all the time he has. Maybe a greeting card? No, that’s too much. Totes creep vibes. It’s not her birthday! (Is it?) I know! A business card! I don’t have to do anything special to hold it; just keep it in my wallet. So even if i fail for the upteenth time, I can just pass it off as fumbling through my wallet! Golden!Or he can just have a stack of them and hands them out like candy (because every woman is beautiful!). But that’s a boring world and I refuse to live in it!
To me, you know what the best thing you can give a beautiful woman who just happens to be minding her own business in public?
Her space.
(Source: plsburydoughboy)
nothing will make you unsqueamish about poop faster than being really into anal and masturbating a lot
~::Makeup Test - Faun::~
WHOA YES
Laetitia Casta, Cannes Film Festival (May 26, 2013)
(Source: manticoreimaginary)
anonymous asked: hi! I’m a white girl and I have been dating a non-white guy. He is constantly trying to put me in boxes to fit stereotypes he has of white women (daddy issues, fetishizing black men). But I don’t fit in these boxes! Is there a way to have a conversation about this offending me without sounding like a reverse racism preaching asshat?
You should start with “stop doing that” and then you may have to improvise.
Unnecessary “fillers” in our speech. I’d rather have “like” than up-talking, though (if we had to choose one, that is). Ewwww, up-talking. Then again, a combination of the two would render me homicidal maniac.
Like, did you ever notice? That, like, the speech patterns people, like, think are stupid? Are, like, commonly associated with, like, women?
And, like, there’s this thing? Where, like, women aren’t supposed to be, like, assertive? So they, like, qualify their speech? Because, like, we’re not supposed to, like, stand by our opinions?
1) humiliate women so they don’t feel qualified to speak authoritatively about anything
2) humiliate women for speaking in such a way that reflects how you treat her
3) laugh, you are superior because you don’t use words like “like.” It isn’t as if being a huge stupid asshole has ever made you worse than a woman who speaks with verbal tics.
Even something as simple as a falling sphere meeting a wall is composed of beautiful fluid motion. In Figure 1 above, we see side-view images of a sphere at low Reynolds number falling toward a wall over several time. Initially an axisymmetric vortex ring is visible in the sphere’s wake; when the sphere touches the wall, secondary vortices form and the wake vortex moves down and out along the wall in an axisymmetric fashion (Figure 2, top view). At higher Reynolds numbers, like those in Figure 3, this axisymmetric spreading of the vortex ring develops an instability and ultimately breaks down. (Photo credit: T. Leweke et al.)
people at my school always ask for my tumblr url, and I always say no, but I decided to make it more interesting….
^You, my friend, are a genius. Plus, that song makes it even better.
I JUST SPIT MY DRINK EVERYWHERE OMG THE AUTOPLAY HAHAHA
THIS IS THE BEST POST IN THE WHOLE WORLD OF TUMBLR
wait a minute what if they find this post
(Source: rnozzarellasticks)
I’m kind of amazed but this is… actually true. wow. wow.
(Source: wandercaren)
